Barbidoesmiami

How to Stay Sane in the City of No Shame

No LOVE, just PRAYing for the end so I can EAT…

7 Comments

Last night I saw Eat Pray Love. All about a woman who is lost. Right?
I hated it. (I didn’t get past page 30 of the book either). And I wondered. Why? Why do 300 million people love this story in 48 languages, buy it, get inspired by it, and I hate it.

Like I wanted to leave. I wanted to scream over everybody’s head, why are you buying this  BULL SHIT ?

Anyway.

I think I figured it out. It lacks authenticity. Credibility. Like when Precious makes good we cheered for her. We admired her for facing horrific challenges and demons. But this?  This is the cliche of a spoiled pretty woman lost. Really, she’s more enviable than pitiable. She tells us she’s desperate but  shows us a gorgeous home, handsome husband, intellectual parties, NYC at its brownstone best, cutest actor rebound boyfriend, rambling apartment in Rome, all the prosciutto, basel and Chianti she can consume, fabulous funny friends who adore her, then onto the super cleaned-up version of India where she befriends the “I don’t want to have an arranged marriage” cliche Indian girl while scrubbing picturesque mosaic floors (all along her hair is Fekkai perfect) ending with the inevitable photogenic Indian wedding ceremony. Then onto Bali (How awful, are we suffering yet? I am, by now I’m so hungry seeing all that Italian food earlier) Anyway. Once there she finds out, like duh, that “giving” makes her feel good about herself, things start looking up… and finally she smiles!

BUT THEN.

While bicycling through a gorgeous landscape she gets hit by Javier Bardem in his white jeep.

JAVIER BARDEM!

Tell me, who here doesn’t want to get run over by Javier Bardem?

STILL…

Now she’s pissed off about that too!

After several scenes ( I only stayed this long because my friend Jessica swore there was steamy sex with Javier) of Roberts and Bardem  having fully clothed sex behind  bamboo doors the story reaches its end. (Phew).

The last scene is straight from the Bachelorette, radiant Julia at the end of the jetty, sun setting on the horizon, waiting for her knight in shining armor …

Fade out to “and they lived happily ever after.”

(Apparently not entirely, in real life the couple’s struggles continued because Javier, had “immigration” problems).

Now there is a movie I may watch:

Javier (without papers) in Arizona…. running his white Jeep over Julia Roberts on her bike…

Any suggestions for the title of that movie…?

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Author: barbidoesmiami

Barbi is a stupid model, fashion designer, writer about women and beauty, repurposeur of ocean plastic garbage into jewelry, mover from milford to miami, mother of iona kiki and leila, lover of alastair

7 thoughts on “No LOVE, just PRAYing for the end so I can EAT…

  1. I totally agree with you.. I went on Sunday to enjoy some full powered air conditioning, and to revisit Bali where I too ran off to last year.

    But hey, the masses always gobble up the corn. They aren’t interested in quinoa. Go figure.

    : )

  2. I have not seen the movie, but I did take issue with much of the book which I only finished after a great many stops and starts and only then so I could feel completely justified in expressing my views. I usually enjoy the movies Julia Roberts chooses, but I won’t be seeing this one.

    I followed you over or rather searched and found you after reading your comment over at Brazen Careerist. There was no link, but I liked your comment enough to do some extra leg work. I’m off now to have a good snoop around your space.

  3. You know, if you check the reviews of the book @ Amazon, you’ll notice that we are in good company. So ok, 60% of reviewers gave 4-5 stars, but a good 30% gave 1-2 stars.

    (Btw, I also came from Brazen Careerist. I’m liking it here; I make visit with some frequency-That Janie post was awesome).

  4. The book was utter shite and I am sure the film is,too.If and when it gets over here, i will NOT be going to see it. The other absolutely over-hyped, unreadable shite books are:
    Paulo Coelho ‘The Alchemist’ utter, self-indulgent twaddle
    Dan Brown…you know what.Worst written book in history

  5. YOU ARE SO FLAT OUT PERFECT.
    fabulous.
    how about the bardem movie be called:
    EAT PRAY… OH FUCK

    xoxox

  6. I, also, read the first 30 pages and never picked up the book again!!

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