Paper size 4” by 10” printed w. human face & the number $100 – value: $100
Painting on canvas, three squares yellow, pink and white – value: $73,000,000
100 stocks in company named Google, non tangible matter – value: $50,000
100 “carat” clear rock – value: $6,000,000
Printed yellow not green by mistake, weight 0.03 grams – value: $5,000,000
100 tons of beach plastic – value: worthless
1,000,000 tons of beach plastic – value: worthless
1,000,000,000,000 of beach plastic – value: worthless
Survival of our planet – value: ….?
I was compelled to write this after one comment on the Barneys blog about my tees said: “Puleeze! So much blah, blah, blah above. It’s garbage sewn on a t-shirt for $135.00! Only idiots will buy these!”
Are you thinking – Barbi is just too sensitive ?
I am. Its hard not to react to these negative comments. They are easy to dissect, but tough to take. It’s the knee jerk ignorance that bothers me and I want to explain.
I want to educate.
Like this comment on the Barneys FB site from Aaron Johnson in NYC:
“FYI, plastic is not eco-friendly!”
HELLOOOO!
Another knee JERK!
Like READ already!
Against my own advice I entered into a conversation with Aaron. I wanted to educate him, but he wanted to educate me. Like did I know about that garbage patch in the Pacific?
Aaron, I wrote, you and I should join forces and educate the world together…
I was glad to find out that even Chris Jordan gets defensive. Apparently some people accused him of faking his photographs of Albatross chicks who die from ocean plastic ingestion. He’s now making a movie to show the full process in REAL time from egg to death by plastic.
Get real people. Stop attacking each other over style, taste, envy of success/recognition and use information to bring about change because only when we stand together will we make the difference it takes to survive.
On Thursday I am going to Abaco, Bahamas. Courtesy of the Lindroth Corporation. They are building a new village called Schooner Bay in southern Abaco. Planned to be all green, using solar, wind and thermal energy, the houses will not be bigger than 900 sq. feet and affordable. There will be stores, a school and a 100 acres is dedicated farm land which will supply organic produce to the town. It’s someone’s dream project: To create an example, learn along the way so the findings can be used by others to help make our (homo sapiens) world sustainable.
This weekend they are gathering artists from all over for a seminar, art show and workshops with local school kids.
I will be teaching them how to make jewelry from beach plastic. Sell it locally to tourists, instead of the (plastic) crap that has BAHAMAS printed on it and is always Made in China.
I bristled. I bristled good. Like hackles all the way up. As I read the much anticipated Vogue article in postage size on my BB.
While walking through the Lynn University campus where I had just spoken to about 70 lethargic fashion merchandising students (I was told they were designers) but from the show of hands – I speak to the out-of-the-box part of brain – there appeared to be none. And all my “be unique follow your creative genius rara, jokes and digs” fell like dusty hat pins on the well-worn blue and crested gold carpet. Soundless. Echoless.
Oh well.
But out in the parking lot the combination of the dulled crowd and “Miami native” got my goat. Like got my goat by the balls (or teets?)
Was I not Dutch born? A former Paris model? A fashion designer from London? Former director of design @ Calvin Klein in NYC?
My ego was pretzelling out of control.
Then my sobering alter-ego said: “But weren’t you last seen as mother, wife and housefrau in Milford PA?” Huh? You think you are so hot? You should be so lucky! To be in Vogue! Huh? Who do you think you are?
(Do you have that who-do-you-think-you-are voice? I don’t think everyone has that voice, as in *Donald Trump, Charlie Sheen or Sarah Palin?)
I have a big ego and then this who-do-you-think-you-are-voice which makes me rather schizo, inside my head, and sometimes it comes out, and I lash out and then feel guilty, and confuse the hell out of everyone.
Like who’s that guilty nice bitch?
So, as I’m driving back to Miami, I’m arguing with myself. And, as usual, my ego loses and I listen to the alter one.
And I’m starting to like the idea of Miami artist. Like could I be an artist from Miami?
Go native…?
I’m used to shape shifting. I’ve had my incarnations from painfully shy school girl to cosmo model to young London designer to Senior Veepee to country mom of three…
And…
Wasn’t I looking for that new life? That new me? Was I not sick of feeling invisible as a mother?
So.
It took Rickie at Vogue to make me see. To open my eyes to more and endless possibilities of me.
It also took embellishing 750 tees with beach plastic to drive me almost insane.
thank you Vogue
I spent the last four months doing little else, as my husband, daughters, dog, friends and hairdresser will attest, but, while doing my manual labor, I had time to think.
About beach plastic. About plastic pollution, About its impact, about solutions, about re-purposing some of the plastic that is already out there. How we buy the product within; the laundry detergent, the water, the toothpaste, but do not feel we own its container. Nobody owns the container. Its not our problem. And therein lies the problem. We have come to treat plastic as a cheap, throw-away material. We forget that it was heralded as the substance that would stop us from plundering earth’s natural resources like wood, tortoise, ivory etc.
Remember Mr. Maguire to young Dustin Hoffman in The Graduate?
“I have one word for you young man”
? (Dustin looking dumb)
PLASTICS!
That was forty years ago and now we’re sinking in the stuff and don’t know how to get rid of it!
Fuck Mr. Robinson and his plastics!
So now its my problem? I thought. As I slowed down to a place of understanding.
And this what I would say to young Dustin:
“Slow Down”
Stop.
Dustin, take ten minutes to really scroll through this (art by native artist?) and you will notice that every piece of beach plastic has a mysterious story. How did the barrette, the crate, the tooth brush, the toy soldier, the bead end up on that faraway Bahamian beach? Who owned it? What did they do with it and why did it get into the ocean? Did it come from a cruise ship? A seaside garbage dump, was it casually tossed away or accidentally lost?
And if you slow down enough to think then maybe you can stop just long enough to change the effect of disposable plastic and realize that you can reinvent plastic’s destiny by making it desirable and yes, maybe even beautiful.
black and white, ying and yang, ego and alter ego, there's always the other way
Interviews about the process, (thank you Viv and Christine) courtesy of Loomstate:
So sorry that I did not blog for almost three months and then do this weird search-word driven thing which most people (especially my mother who thought I’d gone bonkers) did not get. Writing kinky helped the stats however, as in “how to drive more readers to my blog.” So bear with me when I pepper the blog with dirty words and obscure celebrity combinations. I’ll forewarn with the * icon . Example: * bums, big tits, Charlie Sheen.
BTW my most popular search-words are: sexy long legs, models. So I found an old Razzmatazz ad/video of me in Australia, befitting this search word: link here, then click 1979 button down.
I just came back from a tryst. (Tryst – An agreement between lovers, illicit or not, to meet , for sex, in a certain time and place). Actually we did not meet at the certain place, Key West, we drove together along the ugliest corridor that connects all the Keys, the randomness of place, demographic and function (fishing, dolphinariums, shooting alleys and gun shops, strip bars, motor boat retail, cheap motels and trailer parks, etc.) creating a disastrous effect, a visual assault that left me nauseous until we passed Deer Key and the sea turned light turquoise and spotted with every size island from potted plant to small land mass.
hard to capture at 50 mph
Husband and I had not been in a confined space, ie car, together in a long time, so mind-trysting started before we hit Key West. The only place fit for romance if you live in Miami and want to get away like a * gay-escape.
Destination was a secret so I visualized the Hemingway House combined with renovated cute gay Inns as seen online. (Apparently there are straight-friendly and not straight-friendly cute gay inns in KW).
But.
We went to a resort. Upon arrival my mind did a U-turn. It was modern; Travel and Leisure worthy, with swimming pool, beach, 200 rooms, and I liked that this is was what husband had in mind for us, * like Brad and Angelina on vacation.
Idyllic? Yes. But see those two beach balls?
They have “Advanced Auto Parts Convention” printed on them.
Advanced Auto Parts is a link you do NOT press. AAP was trysting too. Like a * Advanced Auto Parts orgy.
We arrived at 2 but check- in time was 4pm. OK. So when we finally get to our Casa Marina room at 4 and walk onto the “balcony” the nerdy bag boy follows us and says: “Best leave the room from 6 to 11, it will be noisy huh huh.” He snickers like * Mark Zuckerberg. Right below us is a stage with Easter Island sized speakers for that night’s AAP concert . Woohoo, we had front row seats. OK. And what time is check-out?
“11 am.” (Shit! that works out to $40.00 an hour spent unconscious, eyes shut, as in sleeping.)
Still, when on a tryst everything is “fun”, its so not hot to complain during check-in; “Excuse me, my husband and I were planning on coming home and having sex around 10 pm, but with that band…. would you have another room for us? Like facing the highway or the garbage collection area?”
I don’t think so. Denial is preferred when on a tryst, avoiding every opportunity for disappointment which will inevitably lead to a fight.
So, a 3rd rate rock band under our window? Who cares, we’ll just pretend its * Gwyneth Paltrow!
We rented bikes. Rode around with 10.000 other tourists, for some reason mostly Danish. At 3.55pm we leashed our bikes together at the clumsily laid-out Casa Marina bike racks, once you were in you couldn’t get out, which irked my Dutchness, but I kept quiet.
We went to our room. After all it was between 4 and 6. Then back on the bikes. Dinner at Seven Fish.
Back at our room by 9.30. Too early. See below for video .
The next morning we biked to Hemingway’s House because that’s what you do when in Key West. Along with 100 grey haired ladies.
Writing loft roof top and pool Pauline put in to keep H from straying to Martha Gelhorn's pool
H's luminescent ghost over the writing desk
pappa's potty in the mirror
Hemingway through the years
Any cellulite? Front row fashion show worthy thighs?
Then we drove back, stopped for lunch at Pierre’s (* a place that makes me think of Carolyn Bessette and how, depressed, she never left her cottage when on a tryst with model boy friend Michael Bergin because she was already madly in love with JK).
Flagler Railroad to KW built early 20th century, now a defunct sculpture alongside the highway
PS I love Coca Cola going green and adore their new cute aluminum bottles and this truck:
you can’t pray away the gay (huh? Barbi in Miami?)
young brunette back job
tiesto is bachelor?
pictures of ringo starr swimming (ew!)
trippy pinata
My contribution to the search engines for today:
Gigantic diet addiction Carla Bruni
Acid Angelina twins in topless bar
Gay spouse shocker custody
I’m coasting on writing entries inspired by these, making them real somehow… hey and subscribe to my blog … I need more faithful followers and less whackos and perverts!
In blog terms I fucked up. Still, daily traffic to my blog increased in my absence.
WTF you may say. Or ask.
Well, my stats tell me that I come up really high under the following searches; “bubble bath, long legs girl, so short shorts, nudist wtf, she loves to lift her skirt (seriously), donuts lingerie (!)” etc. This generally gets the pervs to my Helmut Newton blog, most popular, where they spent about a nano second and move on. My other blog that is paradoxically popular is “totototototo” which I wrote drunk and is clearly Googled by toddlers on their mom’s computer while she’s in the lav.
So much for stats. I’m stat-disillusioned. In fact I’m stattered. Totally and utterly. I mean if I just write: Short long French legs, cranky knickers, hotties in swamp, toe sucking Chihuahuas (i’m getting into this), nudist camp for nuns, Lincoln Road naked three-some, I’m gonna get more traffic than if I tell you all the mundane reasons (in my most wittiest way) why I could not blog for 78 days…
Just three pervy words per day, stats go up, and I may get a book deal.
Ding!
The fog lifts. Now it all makes sense. The Palins, Bachmans and Becks. Huff Post sold for 350 million to AOL (now will they pay their writers, like retroactively?) Penelope Trunk. Write outrageous, borderline shit about anything, incite, expose, hate, all the deadly sins at once, compose headlines that make the Publix check-out mags feel like re-hab, and you’re the next guest on Piers. BTW, I blink and there he is, like he’s been Larry King all along and an authority on everything and not just lack of talent. And what’s with this Anglo invasion of making Americans feel like shit? Fat – Jamie, Stupid – Hitchins and now Piers for inferiority. Give me Anderson Cooper anytime, naked. (last word just for stats, sorry).
Still, outrageous words worked for the Middle East. Outrageous there were words like “freedom” and “no more Mubarak”, ” peaceful revolution” and “power to the people”. Words I prefer. Words that won’t send traffic to my blog.
So.
To wrap this one up:
Anorexic pink velvety ear lobes
hidden stoned fetish hot tub
secrets tied to bedpost.
and watch them soar…
Oh and BTW, I was in a group show at gallery Diet in Miami’s Wynwood. Voyage on Uncanny Seas curated by Mark Dion.
And here’s one dirty picture of me:
showing fleshy naked shoulders
and 30 pieces of beach-plastic earrings for pussies.
Bruce Weber at his Haiti show opening Iona at Design Miami opening
I’m sorry I did not get to it sooner, but if you were here you’d know that after one week of Art Basel Miami and all its trimmings from parties for Isabella Rosselini, Bruce Weber, Julian Schnabel, Sean Penn to art events in at least 320 different locations on the beach and midtown causing traffic that puts the Paris peripherique at 7am to shame, if you’d lived through all that you wouldn’t want revisit it, well, till the frenzy has not only worn off, but a sense of objective relativity has settled back in.
And also.
In the middle of it all Kiki got sick. On Thursday night, after a party I co-hosted for Water.org, and meeting Alastair at the Schnabel/Maybach/Sean Penn/Haiti (yes all in one breath) event, where I posed as gallery owner Angela Westwater, the one who had nabbed husband away from me for the #1/a-list/VIP studded event that evening (of my very civilized dinner for water.org to which husband did not come because Ms. Westwater’s offer was superior ). Are you getting the escalation of frenzy and stress? (I must remember, I tell myself, that when I’m 70+ and would like a handsome, younger, entertaining male on my arm to a #1/a-list/VIP studded event, I can invite any married man out there. No problem. And I will. I promise I will. Fuck it, I’ve spent a lifetime being perceived as a threat, when I am 70 and no longer perceived as a threat, I will take advantage and tempt younger men with my #1/a-list/VIP studded events).
speaking to 40 dinner guests @ water.org dinner about Arts for a Better World and my beach plastic
But I’m way off topic. That night, when I posed as Angela Westwater, because it turns out she’s way too A-list to pick up her name tag, and I turned up under her name it was assumed I was her and ended up with her tag, and passed Sean Penn in the corridor who threw me a look like he’d just blown up the headmaster’s car, but apparently I’d just missed his angry rant about Haiti and the lack of help which resulted in the sale of four Schnabel drawings raising over one million in a few minutes. Well, that night Kiki got sick. I had a few, not my fault, I was served quite a few, wines, scotches, champagnes. I was tired, bone tired. So I was sleeping like I really needed it.
Leila walked it at 3-ish, and said: “Kiki just threw up all over the floor.”
!
And.
For the first time in 14 years I said:
“I can’t deal with that right now.”
I turned over and went back to sleep.
Guess what? Husband got up! Maybe it was my total coolness about his date with Angela, but he got up and cleaned up the puke, and I experienced a very steep learning curve. Which is: I can say things like “I can’t deal with that right now,” and he’s there. Ready to jump in.
That was huge and has NOTHING to do with Art Basel Miami.
So.
My promise of blogging about my installation as it evolved, which named itself the Bottle Shack after it was built because it was not quite as slick as I had imagined but took, like all good art, a life of its own determined by material, circumstance, timing and mood, and ended up quite random and gorgeous and shacky and textured in a messy luminous kinda way, that promise was way more than I could live up to.
So this is it how it went:
It started with 2400 recycled bottles. 1000 from my local school bottle drive. 500 from Recyclable Planet a reverse vending machine where you drop off your soda/water bottles, and 1700 from South Eastern Recycling. Not all were usable. Some were really disgusting with like gum stuck on the outside, food stuffed inside, mold, grease, like you dont wanna know what people do to/with their water bottles.
We, the kids, their friends and I started by removing all the labels. In order of popularity: Dasani (tap water, hello!), Zephyrhills (from a natural spring near Tampa Florida, yum!), Publix spring water (paradox), Coca Cola, Sprite, Perrier, and so on.
While we peeled labels a wooden cube structure was built by the show’s carpenters. We strung bottles on wire with Lara, Gabriella, husband and Jennifer and hung them on this wooden cube which collapsed right away. Shit! Now I was behind schedule.
A new steel tube structure with sloppy horizontals was built next. I had to let go of my Dutch sense of perfect parallels and become more, lets say, island…?
By Sunday noon my “installation” was nowhere near installed.
It soon became a case of, if I’d know what it takes I’d never have done it. Those are the projects I like best because I go into some strange obsessive state of mind. I drilled holes in 2400 bottles. I strung them on wire and tied them. I had some help from Steven, a DASH fashion student, but was mostly alone at the cavernous hall till midnight. I crept through some time-worm-hole and by Tuesday morning I moved into my pop-up studio bottle shack and got ready for the opening party.
Which was that night and I posed in my perfect dress, in front of the shack with an American Indian Chief who had blessed the event…oh for global and good-cause culture clashing!
Tuesday night held many other opening parties. There was Design Miami, there was the Mark Newson Riva boat at the Standard, there was Nadja Swarowski’s dinner party at Soho House, there was Bruce Weber at MoCA and a dinner to follow. Huband went to most of them and took Iona (14) as his “date”. It was like Iona’s coming out night at Art Basel Miami 2010. She was chatted up by a married man who asked her if her guy was in the film business. “You mean my Dad?” she answered. He then told her he ‘d come to the dinner with his buddy, acting like he was single but the next day she saw him swinging his wife and baby in the hammock chairs outside Design Miami. Another steep learning curve in the Gordon household – men will say anything to get your attention….
But I wasn’t there. I was at my own opening with my team.
My first ever art opening in fact. I’ve done countless fashion shows and their after parties, I’ve given many of husband’s book launch parties but I’ve never had my own Art Opening! 100 sq. feet of me. Of what I wanted to express at that moment in time. In my time. In Miami’s time. In the world’s time. An opportunity to make a statement.
I took on plastic pollution.
I worked in my pop-up studio and showed how to turn catastrophe into beauty hoping to inspire. Hoping to educate.
My favorite was when kids poked their heads through the bottles and asked me all sorts of questions which usually started with, “what are you doing in there?”
I loved it when Michele Oka Doner breezed in like a luminous fairy, with a posse of Micky Wolfson’s glamorous women friends. They all came inside the shack, and then called out to Micky to join us. Luckily he declined. The shack was not built to hold visitors, it was built to be peeked into…
I joined Alastair and Iona at the Swarowski dinner. I flirted with Michael Tilson Thomas in the elevator, having no idea who he was other than rather cute. I saw my long time Dutch friend Li Edelkoort, we kissed and hugged like long lost loves knowing that the next time could be years from now. I embarrassed my dinner partner by making rather harmless comments about the other guests but when we parted he said I was his favorite new friend and he was the first to visit the Bottle Shack the next morning. A rather nasty writer called Derek to my right told me gleefully that Julie Gilhart had just been given the boot by Barneys.
Julie! My champion! The one who had introduced my beach plastic tees to the Barneys buyers! I e-mailed her when I got home and three days later she came to my Bottle Shack. My new favorite friend. The wonderful awesome Julie Gilhart! Not rattled at all by recent events, but inspired by its possibilities….
Julie and Barbie
Loomstate‘s Berrin and Vivienne came down to Miami too.
To see me and their tees inside the shack. They took millions of pix and did an interview movie and we had a long noisy lunch at Joeys. They placed a great story about the Bottle Shack in Ecouterre and posted a glowing report on their blog. Thank you Loomstate!
Sunday 5 pm it was over!
I had loved it. It felt like I was whole again. After several years of not knowing how to redefine myself in a way that was fulfilling and meant something in a modern global context, realizing I had grown out of being a traditional fashion designer and did not know exactly how to fill the void. My creative void that was like a gaping hole, which made me unhappy. Unsettled.
Once a year the art-circus comes to town, given legitimacy because the prestigious Art Basel, as in Basel Suisse, as in most uptight city/country in Europe, is behind it. I’m sure its been asked before, but surely Basel and Miami in the same breath are an oxymoron?
Anyway.
It all started with Art Miami and then Basel came and then everyone who is anyone in the art world followed. And then the design world… for catching some rays before settling into the long dark northern winter? Who knows. They, the art world, thought it was an excellent idea, and so now there are many, many satellite shows. One is called Scope, one called Pulse, one called Red Dot as in SOLD (so you cant have it), one called Nada, and so on….
Now, you may remember, last year husband and I were Art Basel Miami sluts, like we didn’t care, we hung with every and anyone, at every and any party.
BUT.
I must speak for myself when I say that, even though I enjoyed the unbearable lightness of it all, I wanted a bit more green, as in Green. Like some art that dealt with issues of the planet? Was that too much to ask? Like a bit less stuffed deer and doe and fawn, less Michael Jackson likenesses and a bit more Chris Jordan?
So. As Basel approached this year, and I sat assembling beach plastic tee after beach plastic tee, which gives me a lot of time to think since its manual labor, I thought to myself….. I should be at Basel… like Barbi does green, or blue, at Miami Art Basel week.
Well.
This year has been the “Year of Be Careful What You Ask For”, for me (after three years of getting shit I did not ask for). Like I wished to be in Barneys and they called me for 900 tees, driving me into beach plastic nervous breakdown. I think Barbi does Basel (yes that blog title I shall use next week), and low and behold, I get a call….
Sounds good doesn’t it? Sounds like it could be me, no? I mean who cares about art if its not for a better world?
Isn’t one definition of art that it gives the beholder a sense of hope, of seeing and experiencing a whole new emotion? A new paradigm, a moment of connection to the divine? The divine in another human being who somehow connects for a moment to what is true and enlightened and real? And isn’t the divine a moment of connection to our spiritual origins? And does nature not have something to do with this?
So. A better world through art sounds good to me. Thats the place I want to be.
Fuck the brands like Gagosian and Marlborough, aren’t they just like out of control Wall Street brokers?
OK. OK. I’ll shut up. Before I dig myself in too deep. No, I do not claim any superiority or connection to the divine. I just want to experience more. Like something I haven’t done before. I want to feel good not poor. I want to feel part of something not inferior. You know what I mean?
For now that’s all you get. I’m busy you know. very very busy.
But.
Stay tuned.
I will record all right here. From the day I start, Sunday, and build my amazing recycled installation and somehow move into it.
Here’s the name of the installation and an idea….of what’s to come: