The epilog of the BlackBerry Diet reads like this:
(oh, and it might sound familiar)…
– 100 –
I’m writing this from my twenty-fifth floor apartment in Miami.
Below me is the beach scattered with tiny figures and the endless ocean dotted with cruise-liners and container ships stretches ahead of me.
I’m surrounded by white, turquoise, and deep blue.
I’m definitely not in the Catskills anymore.
The kids are in school.
We moved a month ago.
News from Upstate is that snow came early this year, before the leaves had even fallen. It’s sunny here and in the mid-eighties.
I’m not homesick.
We rented the farm to friends, a gay couple who hope we’ll never return. But it’s too soon to tell. I try not to think too far ahead. I’m being here now, in the moment.
Finn has changed.
Almost losing me made him grow up, like he could finally celebrated his family.
Soon after I came back from Paris he sheepishly told me that he’d been invited to go on another PR junket.
Oh sure, I said.
They’re opening a new restaurant at the Fontainebleau in Miami.
Cool, I said, this time I’m coming along.
The girls stayed with Emma.
It was easy and to my surprise I loved Miami.
After going to Paris I’d fought not to slip back into my old habits. It was so hard. My life worked in a set way, and I didn’t know how to change it. I tried too hard to please Finn and then I was resentful. I could go from being loving and sweet to a screaming maniac in a nano-second. Finn stood by. Guilty like he deserved my wrath. I hated myself. I considered a separation after all. We talked about it, but Finn refused.
How about we take a year away from our old life, he said one day. And try a fresh start.
Going to Miami was a risk worth taking.
I do miss Emma and Manon.
Emma is on a book tour. Her book is selling well and it’s being turned into an off-Broadway play. Manon moved back to the city. The country was too lonely for a stunning Amazon like her. She loves New York and is dating a Dutch pediatrician.
I adore Miami women. Like my new friend Rio who dresses up for everything like taking the kids to school, shopping for groceries, sitting on the beach, walking the dog, or going out for dinner. I copy her. I no longer wear sweats and my roots never show. The only pills I take are vitamin pills, I swim every day and I’m even contemplating going to the gym.
I’ve started designing a new collection.
Finn and I are partying.
I go with him to every restaurant review and last Saturday we went to a crazy gender-bender Halloween ball.
We danced till two in the morning.
We have the best sex.
He thinks I’m hot.
He says he fell in love with me all over again.
I love him back.
I’m still exploring the place where he begins and I end.
He ends and I begin.
Doing my Barbi does Miami blog has been a lot like writing the BlackBerry Diet, its about real life but also about knowing what to play up and what to play down, about being genuine, irreverent and open. I had to be honest, completely honest with myself when I wrote the the BlackBerry Diet. I crafted a narrative using my own life, adding highs, lows and tension. To be able to do this I created another persona called Katja, a husband called Finn, three daughters, and a parallel universe that expressed mine…
Now, after writing this blog for nine months I might be ready to serialize and incorporate the BlackBerry Diet into this blog.