Barbidoesmiami

How to Stay Sane in the City of No Shame

straight parking

Leave a comment

mom, there’s a note under your wiper.
really?
it says “learn to park faggot”
whats a faggot?
it’s a bad word for a gay person, sweetie
don’t gay people know how to park ?
yes they do, they’re actually very good at parking
why do they think you are gay?
good question. why would anyone think that a hunter green yukon with pennsylvania plates was gay? soccer mom yes. suburban family yes. plumber, contractor, painter, mechanic, yes. but gay? Don’t gay men drive prius, (or is it prii) or antique mercedes, or audis?

so? anyone?  is vero beach homophobic?

fyi, in case you may think i’m a dizzy parker, the lines in that macho holiday inn parking lot have been painted three times over the years and each time the painter gaily moved the lines a few feet, so each parking space fits nothing wider than a mountain bike, a nightmare for anyone who is analy parking impaired, gay or not, which is just not me. i parked my car, oblivious after 400 miles, next to the last car in line, leaving a polite space for luggage etc and moved on. in daylight there was my yukon, all alone on the black tarmac, with two white lines between the wheels and and a third right under the left set of tires, looking all together much too straight, square and in line.

miami I’m ready…

Advertisements

Author: barbidoesmiami

Barbi is a stupid model, fashion designer, writer about women and beauty, repurposeur of ocean plastic garbage into jewelry, mover from milford to miami, mother of iona kiki and leila, lover of alastair

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s