mom, there’s a note under your wiper.
really?
it says “learn to park faggot”
whats a faggot?
it’s a bad word for a gay person, sweetie
don’t gay people know how to park ?
yes they do, they’re actually very good at parking
why do they think you are gay?
good question. why would anyone think that a hunter green yukon with pennsylvania plates was gay? soccer mom yes. suburban family yes. plumber, contractor, painter, mechanic, yes. but gay? Don’t gay men drive prius, (or is it prii) or antique mercedes, or audis?

so? anyone?  is vero beach homophobic?

fyi, in case you may think i’m a dizzy parker, the lines in that macho holiday inn parking lot have been painted three times over the years and each time the painter gaily moved the lines a few feet, so each parking space fits nothing wider than a mountain bike, a nightmare for anyone who is analy parking impaired, gay or not, which is just not me. i parked my car, oblivious after 400 miles, next to the last car in line, leaving a polite space for luggage etc and moved on. in daylight there was my yukon, all alone on the black tarmac, with two white lines between the wheels and and a third right under the left set of tires, looking all together much too straight, square and in line.

miami I’m ready…